Inert Ramblings

Everything worth saying has already been said…

Inert Ramblings
July 28, 2003 by Sciri

Meet the time traveler!

Now is your chance to meet the Dimensional Warp Generator time traveler in person! He’ll be waiting at the corner of Cummings Ave. and Village Street in Woburn, MA at exactly 3:00 PM today! You’d think he’d be more careful about passing around this extremely sensitive information. I’m sure that government agencies around the world would be interested in this info…

As always, you can keep incredibly up to date on his activities by checking Feedster or Google. Just be careful…they are watching you! Also, if you decide to head to Woburn this afternoon, you’ll more than likely meet Dave or Jeremy as well!

Update: There were actually people at the pickup point this afternoon!


From: ""
Date: Mon Jul 28, 2003 11:33:36 AM US/Eastern
To: hamors@transient.net
Subject: Dimensional Warp Generator Needed th

Hello,

I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me. I am going to need a new DWG unit, prefereably the rechargeable AMD wrist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp stabilizers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID display.

I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received certification for being safe on carbon based life forms.

In terms of payment: I dont have any Galactic Credits left. Payment can be made in platinum gold or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit.

Please transport unit in either a large brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Monday July 28th at (exactly 3:00pm) Eastern Standard Time on the dot. A few minutes prior will be ok, but it cannot be after. If you miss this timeframe please email me.

Twenty-three inches in from the outside edge of the corner at the South West Corner of Cummings Ave. & Village Street in Woburn, Mass. is at Latitude 42.4845467 & Longitude -71.1576157 and the ground is 101.3' above sea level. WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRANSPORT ITEM BY REGULAR MEANS OF TELEPORTATION. THEY ARE MONITORING AND WILL REDIRECT THE SIGNAL!! (NOBODY HAS BEEN ABLE TO TRANSPORT ANYTHING SO FAR WITHOUT THE TRANSFER BEING DEFLECTED). I DO NOT CARE HOW YOU HAVE TO GET IT HERE, JUST DO IT IN A WAY THAT NO SPYING EYES WILL POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO REDIRECT THE TRANSFERENCE. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE ABLE TO MONITOR THE TRANSFER.

Although those coordinates are a secure guarded area, these channels through email are never secure. Unfortunately it is the only form of communication I have right now.

After unit has been sent please email me at: info@federalfundingprogram.com with payment instructions. Do not reply directly back to this email.

Thank You

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Posted in Warp. RSS 2.0 feed.
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0 Responses to Meet the time traveler!

  1. Sean says:
    July 28, 2003 at 11:15 AM

    Andrew has pointed out that we are currently in EDT so the EST time may be incorrect. So, technically, the pickup should be at 3:00 PM EST or 4:00 PM EDT since we’re currently in EDT. Who knows? Conspiracy? Incredible flaw in the time traveler’s calculations? Urban legend? You be the judge!

  2. Sean says:
    July 28, 2003 at 11:18 AM

    The pickup location is zoned as R2 Residential, so there shouldn’t be much traffic:

    http://www.geocities.com/woburnzoning/e4.htm

  3. Sean says:
    July 28, 2003 at 4:05 PM

    There were actually people at the pickup location: http://www.inertramblings.com/archives/000250.html

  4. nikkiana says:
    July 28, 2003 at 4:49 PM

    *coughs* We don’t even USE negative longitude.

  5. Sean says:
    July 28, 2003 at 4:59 PM

    MapQuest shows negative longitude as an example:

    http://www.mapquest.com/maps/latlong.adp

    Using latitude and negative longitude on MapQuest shows the exact location of the intersection I was at.

  6. Debbie says:
    July 28, 2003 at 7:23 PM

    Bad craziness. You should have shot him with a tranquilizer gun, tossed him in your vehicle and left him out in the wild somewhere so that he couldn’t harm anyone anymore.

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  8. carson says:
    July 31, 2003 at 1:58 AM

    I love the sponsored link… “Buy Generators on Sale: Free shipping! Huge selection. Easy online ordering. http://www.amazon.com“

  9. jason says:
    August 1, 2003 at 3:58 PM

    i got 2 of these emails, with different coordinates. the one i got today (8/1) still listed the dropoff time as july 28, but had new coordinates, which aren’t far from the old coordinates: Latitude N 42.48018 & Longitude W 071.15503 and the Elevation is 96.

    perhaps our timetraveler wanted to try again next monday, but forgot to update the date

  10. Tyche says:
    August 8, 2003 at 9:53 AM

    I’m not sure these websites are still current, try them out:
    http://ita-es.ro/
    http://bangaloreworldu-in.co.nz/
    http://www.belladerma-srl-it.ro/
    http://catskillseaviewclinic.org/
    http://familychan.org/default.html
    http://www.electric-toyland.com/
    http://www.coronersweb.org/
    http://rational-hatter.com/default.html
    Maybe the time traveler should try them also.

  11. Somebody says:
    August 9, 2003 at 2:17 AM

    This is weird. A Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, huh?

    You guys really think this guy is serious?

    “I dont have any Galactic Credits left. Payment can be made in platinum gold or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit.”

    What’s platinum gold? Isn’t it just called gold (an element) or platinum?

    “I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received certification for being safe on carbon based life forms.”

    Carbon based life forms … isn’t that from Star Trek the Motion Picture?

  12. Sean says:
    August 9, 2003 at 10:33 AM

    The guy thinks he’s serious, and that’s what counts. Regarding the platinum/gold thing, I think he just forgot a comma (platinum, gold, etc.).

    As far as carbon-based life forms, yes, it’s a sci-fi term. But, if you look at recent technological inventions, thee are plenty of real inventions that the creators have named after parts from sci-fi books, shows and movies.

  13. Gort says:
    August 18, 2003 at 11:43 AM

    Here’s another one for you:
    http://www.johntitor.com
    “We are not alone!”

  14. Gort says:
    August 18, 2003 at 11:57 AM

    Better still, try this one:
    http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm-709660.html
    There’s some weird stuff out there.

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  17. Emily says:
    September 15, 2003 at 6:51 PM

    Dude, I got this email a week ago, its f’ing wierd… I’ve never gotten spam like it before… ever. When/where did it start?

  18. Darlene K says:
    December 20, 2008 at 9:10 PM

    This is very interesting..I am also a real Time traveler myself from Massachusetts, here is my website http://www.youtube.com/TimeExplorer3

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