Inert Ramblings

Everything worth saying has already been said…

No Dimensional Warp Generator for me!

After receiving the Dimensional Warp Generator and teleportation dropoff emails, I was intrigued enough to check out the alleged delivery point on Monday, July 28, 2003. The location was only ten minutes from work and I figured, why not? At worst, no one would show up and I’d sit there alone for ten minutes. At best, I’d get a good laugh and snap some fun photos! Little did I know that there would be some characters there who were taking the whole thing so seriously!

Update (08/29/2003): Wired reported on the Dimensional Warp Generator and linked to me. Turns out that the time traveler’s family is concerned about him…

I rolled onto Cummings Ave. around 2:58 PM and found an older Toyota parked at the end of the street occupied by two men in sport coats. Both of them were on mobile phones and there was an open notebook computer stuffed between the dashboard and the windshield. The minute I turned onto the street and made eye contact, they left. As I continued down Cummings Ave. and turned onto Village St. I saw a flash of white out of the corner of my eye. There was a random guy hiding in the woods, also on a mobile phone, just across the street from the intersection of Cummings Ave. and Village St. When he saw me he turned around and scurried off into the woods out of sight.

I turned around and parked on Cummings Ave., facing Village St. and Winn St. From there I could see the alleged drop point where the Dimensional Warp Generator was supposed to magically appear at 3:00 PM. In my rear view, I saw and Audi of some sort parked about a block behind me and a random domestic parked behind it. A minute ticked by, and a rather burly man wearing white gloves emerged at the end of Cummings Ave., wandered around aimlessly for a while, then disappeared again out of sight. Just before 3:00 PM, I caught a glimpse of the guy in the woods and he instantly disappeared again.

A minivan then rolled up Cummings Ave. from the end of the street and, as it appeared, the domestic fled. The minivan parked next to the Audi, and a heated conversation ensued. I couldn’t hear anything but the guy in the minivan got out, there were waving hands and, eventually, the Audi left. I can only assume there was an argument going on because there was lots of rather aggressive waving and pointing.

Shortly thereafter, the guy in the minivan rolled up beside me, drove by very slowly, gave me a stare, then parked at an angle blocking me in. He just sat there for a few minutes, staring intently at the alleged drop point. After 3:00 PM came and went, he rolled forward about twenty feet, got out, and started rooting around in the yards around the intersection. Eventually, after not finding the Dimensional Warp Generator, he went up to the house across the street from the drop point and rang the doorbell.

I just sat there in complete amazement that there was any activity at all at the street corner. How could anyone be taking the pickup seriously? When the minivan driver made eye contact with me again I decided that it was definitely time to leave. Although nothing magically appeared at the intersection, I was kind of hoping that someone would toss a random box out of a moving car or something. At least I got some fun photos!

I really was tempted to make contact with the minivan driver but opted not to. Who knows what strange temporal rift I would have been sucked into…

On a side note, what makes this incident so freaky is that my friend James decided to check out the intersection as well! He arrived at 2:45 PM, got bored, and left around 2:55 PM because no one was there and the street was completely deserted! He snapped a single photo and left. Weird…

Revised 07/29/2003 09:44 PM

July 28, 2003 - Posted by Sciri | Warp | | 51 Comments

51 Comments »

  1. That’s cool! What a strange thing the internet is, to actually convince people to do things like this :)

    w00t too, since you’re the first ever trackbacker on my blog! Ta!

    Comment by MrWizzle | July 28, 2003

  2. Ha…yeah…I showed up to take pics just to see who else would show up.

    Comment by Sean | July 28, 2003

  3. The intrigue deepens… ;) Perhaps his next request will be for a copy of The Catcher In The Rye, also known as the Intel Quanternium Uncertainty generator.

    Comment by carson | July 29, 2003

  4. Tricky bastard… He threw his net far and wide. I was able to buy the last Dimensional Warp Generator my local Wal-Mart had on the shelf. The nice thing was, Oven-Mitt (from Arby’s commercial fame) was there chatting with the Wal-Mart smiley, Smiley saw me checking out the Dimensional Warp Generator (the last one being an open box), and he stopped by and said “Step back, sir. Price drop is immenent.” To my amazement, he dropped the price right there from $484,397.99 to $9.97! What a BARGAIN - especially since I knew someone in such dire need!

    Now my only problem was to get it from Lat/Long 38.65934 -75.59428 to 42.4845467 -71.1576157…

    Comment by Steve | July 30, 2003

  5. This is by far the strangest email I’ve ever received. I’m going to rent the X-files.

    Comment by joe fujiyama | August 1, 2003

  6. I think all the suspicious people are just like you, looking to see anything happens.

    Comment by matthew | August 3, 2003

  7. Well well, now a looky here, I caught myself a UFO, your gonna start turn’n Green Real Fast…..or the National Inquires not gonna buy my Story!!!! (Yes,yes I know…it’s an excerpt from Need for Speed 1, but who gives a Hoot).

    I….like the most of You,(here it comes) also got this most Remarkable Email from the “Time Traveler”. If it were True, why would someone who comes from the Future use such a primative way of Communication finding Parts for His “Dimensional Warp Generator”? I know it says in the Email that this would be the only way for Him to Communicate, but still it’s quite astounding that People from the Future with such an “Advanced Technology” need to send Emails to Hundreds of People to get new Parts for His DWG. One thing did Trouble me, 512GB SRAM?? Not the Size of the Memory….but “SRAM”?? I really don’t believe the in the Future they would still use SRAM!! OH YEAH….Great Pics!! Haven’t been they yet, maybe I’ll go they one day, especially wenn this Guy tries to get His DWG again.
    OH…and the Online-Shop is the Best, I would have Bought one of those DWG’s but they are a bit Expensive though, maybe at Christmas after my Chef gives me the Promised Gratification of 100.000-Dollars, but only maybe. Well enough of this, I’d better get back in my Space-Time-Suite and Travel to the Year 2246 or my Space-Time Traveling Pass will get Expired!!

    OH…wait a minute, how much is 100.000-Dollars in Galactic-Credits??

    P.S: Naaa…I just think this Guy is Nuts, but mostly harmless, and should be Observed from Time to Time.

    Comment by vandarque | August 4, 2003

  8. Please do not assist this person. I am from about 200 years further into the future than he is (That’s about how long his DWG has been obsolete)and have been hunting him acoss most of human history. Now that he’s trapped in your era, he must be subdued by whatever means necessary. He knows I am after him, so it’s very important that he be stopped before he can kill my great-great-great-great-great Grandf

    Comment by Octavian | August 6, 2003

  9. How phony. There’s no way you could open a dimensional time portal without at *least* 400TB f RAM, which is probably going to be the minumum to run Windows in about 2 years anyway.

    Comment by MadDog | August 7, 2003

  10. Eka Beka Bee

    Comment by Elbow Feldspar | August 7, 2003

  11. To Mad Dog….He He…that was Cool !!!!

    Comment by vandarque | August 7, 2003

  12. Oh, I want to believe, I really do.

    Comment by Gary | August 7, 2003

  13. I’m from the UK and we have a saying for kooky things, “only in America” ;-)

    This kind of proves the point. ;-))

    Thanks for sharing.

    Comment by hedgehog | August 9, 2003

  14. Inert Ramblings: No Dimensional Warp Generator for me!

    We’ve seen the crazy Spams abour Dimensional Warp Generator.. This blogger works close by so swung buy whilst on lunch. See more on, Inert Ramblings: No Dimensional Warp Generator for me!After receiving the Dimensional Warp Generator and teleportation …

    Trackback by Reflective Reality. | August 10, 2003

  15. Has anyone actually tried to email our time traveler at info@federalfundingprogram.com? Kind of an odd domain to be receiving messages, no?

    Comment by wedgie | August 11, 2003

  16. Although I haven’t, there is a complete account of money and product changing hands between the time traveler and an alleged technology developer: http://www.lindqvist.com/index.php?newID=1142

    Comment by Sean | August 11, 2003

  17. I don’t see what the big problem is here. Everybody knows that amazon.galaxy sells this stuff (or at least will start trading in about 40 years). In the meantime, there is a limited catalogue of stuff available that’s considered safe for use by races for whom this science is in its infancy (ie the people of earth - at this present time) to help them get a foothold on the basic technology.
    If anyone wants a current catalogue, mail me at icdcomponents@hotmail.com and i’ll forward you the catalogue by return.

    Comment by Dispatch | August 13, 2003

  18. This communication is to inform your dimension that the entity known to you as Bob White has been returned to his proper place and time. As all of us 5th dimensional space know, time travel as you know it does not exist as we have constant awareness of all points in time and can experience them just by shift our awareness. Just as you experience a three dimensional world by moving along the 3rd dimension of your space, we experience time by moving along the 4th dimension of our 5th dimensional space.

    Mr White made the error of tuning in to the 3rd dimension and losing conscious awareness of the 5th dimension and thus lost the ability to move freely along fourth dimensional space. In other words, he manifested in the lower dimensions and got stuck in the same hellthat all of you are trying to extricate yourselves from. The hell of the limits of the physical world, unable to excape, using denial, fantasy, drugs, alcohol, extreme sports, war, terrorism, and sex in a desperate attempt to transend the box you live in.

    Mr White has been rescued and his soul sent off to Rigel for remedial training.

    Best wishes in your ongoing pursuits of the sacred and profane. A hint to the wise, the higher dimension is somewhere around the intersection/overlap where the dualities of your dimension curve around and meet. IYKWIM

    Comment by todios | August 19, 2003

  19. Dimensional Warp Generator Needed

    Received a really weird spam today titled “Dimensional Warp Generator Needed.”. Not sure what the deal is……

    Trackback by Jim Carson | August 23, 2003

  20. With a bit of a mind flip

    This piece of spam just arrived in my inbox asking me to send plans for a frickin’ dimensional warp generator.

    Trackback by synapse | August 26, 2003

  21. Time Travel Spam

    Correspondent John Dee forwarded a spam he received earlier this week, concerning the need of a time traveler for certain necessary pieces of equipment to whisk him away to his temporal point of origin. I’d seen a similar spam some time ago, and I must…

    Trackback by mike.whybark.com | August 26, 2003

  22. Dude, somebody’s going to run the plates on that minivan, RIGHT?? Looking forward to a followup post.

    Comment by DFP | August 28, 2003

  23. As amusing as it would be, I’m not quite intrigued enough by the whole scenario to spend the cash to pull his plates at the DMV. Teehee.

    Comment by Sean | August 28, 2003

  24. Just think… how many of those other folks thought YOU were an alien or time-traveler? Or at least kind of hoping you were… they were waiting for you to shoot rays out of your hands or something.

    Comment by John | August 29, 2003

  25. wired linked to you
    http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,60141-2,00.html

    Comment by me | August 29, 2003

  26. Webtrolling

    This is what happens if you fly your commercial jet through a hailstorm. (Via Dr Karl’s Self Service Science Forum) The world’s second-largest camera is a converted delivery van. (Via Memepool) Yes, Slitz is a real magazine. I’m not…

    Trackback by Evil pundit of doom! | August 29, 2003

  27. [burns]Excellent…[/burns]

    Comment by Sean | August 29, 2003

  28. Latest Internet Meme - Time Traveller Spam!!

    meta-markup: textile2
    Last week I recieved this message, which was caught as spam so I only just found it:

    Subject:Warp Watch Needed t
    Date: Fri, 22 Aug 03 17:35:43 GMT

    Hello,

    I am going to need a new DWG unit, prefereably the rechargeable AMD wri

    Trackback by lysozyme | August 29, 2003

  29. poor slug.

    Comment by momo | August 29, 2003

  30. Oh my freaking h4ll… roflmao! Not just at the spammer himself, but at all these hilarous comments!

    Comment by Rockavellian | August 29, 2003

  31. Trackback To The Spam

    I was going over the stats for the last few weeks, and I was checking out the keywords search, and the number one keyword is “worst spam” back from my old post about that dimensional warp spam. It turns out when you search for worst spam in googl…

    Trackback by jezz journal | August 29, 2003

  32. Mad spammer fingered in Wired article.

    Wired: have fingered Robert ‘Robby’ Todino as the the time-travel spammer The anonymous e-mail offered $5,000 to any vendor capable of promptly delivering a collection of far-fetched gadgets for conducting time travel. Among the mysterious devices soug…

    Trackback by Reflective Reality. | August 30, 2003

  33. klaatu verata nichtu

    Comment by gidney & cloyd | August 30, 2003

  34. As humans at this point in your evolution you are unable to understand such concepts could be true. I have run through various time lines in my current physical form and it’s incredibly fascinating. You will come to understand.

    Comment by Arachon | August 31, 2003

  35. Time Travel Spammer Revealed.

    A few weeks ago I posted my copy of the weird email, which seems to be a different version of the original. The I posted someone else’s Account of showing up at the “meeting point” and the weirdness there. Now Wired has joined the freak spotting party….

    Trackback by verybigblog | September 1, 2003

  36. Dear Entity-that-calls-yourself-Arachon,

    Do I know you? Are the person who hit a snag in the space-time-dimensional continuum and accidently manifested your physical body directly overlapping my coordinates last Friday Night at Club Dada?

    I immediately projected myself a few days into the future to make room for you so as to avoid another one of those nasty shared space Chimeric snafus (I hate it when I dont know what my third hand is doing)

    I did, however , somehow get away with an extra pair of underwear that I think may belong to you.

    It is a pair of BVD light grey boxer-briefs size medium with the inial “A” embroidered in the waistband and a rather substantial skidmark on the crotch.

    Please post an address and timeline and I will try to return the shorts via express

    Comment by todios | September 2, 2003

  37. What a bonehead. Every 3rd grade student knows that you can’t open a temporal rift at the bottom of a gravity well. (duh! Remember the Redmond disaster of 2017?!?! Hello!!!) Since the SS1/Spacedev tourism group doesn’t start commercial space flights for another 8 years, I’d recommend going the cryogenic route. I hear that Sears has a special on a side-by-side Frigidaire that should do the trick. Make sure that you have battery backup though to avoid that nasty east coast grid failure that happens this year. Also, I’d recommend a few boxes of baking soda to cut down on the smell.

    Comment by Filby | September 4, 2003

  38. the Frigidaire model has a noisy motor which can get irritating after a few years of cryo

    and the freezer compartment is not large enough to house your entire body

    but it does hold the head nicely. And it has good icemaker

    So I give it 3 stars

    Comment by todios | September 10, 2003

  39. I thought I was wierd

    I was browsing around on the web and came across Blog Impressario, which is an AWESOME site for blog promotion, ideas, etc. On that site, I noticed a link to BHN and saw a story they had on a crazy…

    Trackback by is a geek | October 2, 2003

  40. STOP SPAM IN ITS TRACKS!

    Just to let everyone know, I have absolutely nothing to do with the “STOP SPAM IN ITS TRACKS!” spam that was sent using inertramblings.com as its return address. It appears that Robert Todino (aka Brian Appel, aka Bob White, aka…

    Trackback by Inert Ramblings | October 20, 2003

  41. 4 Oak St. in Woburn doesn’t exist…

    No big surprise here. After the time traveler pissed me off by sending out spam with inertramblings.com in the return address, I checked out the alleged mailing address from his whois info. Figures…4 Oak St. doesn’t exist in Woburn. Oak…

    Trackback by Inert Ramblings | October 20, 2003

  42. Other people have done most of the work for me…

    It seems that other people Robert Todino has pissed off have done most of the work for me. I now have possible valid address that dates back to 1999 and has been used recently: Robert Todino 8 Albert St. Woburn,…

    Trackback by Inert Ramblings | October 21, 2003

  43. The floodgates have closed…

    The email floodgates have finally closed and the stream of bounce messages has dribbled to a slow trickle. 36 hours after the initial email, my mail server has finally gotten a breather. The damage? 3500 bounced emails for around 5000…

    Trackback by Inert Ramblings | October 21, 2003

  44. Time Traveler Joe-Job’s

    Robert “Robby” Todino (home?) the time travel spammer (more) is at it again according to wired today. According to the article this latest round of inbox dogma is joe-jobbing too….

    Trackback by Reflective Reality | November 1, 2003

  45. Heh - I’ve got a pretty good collection of “weird devices” - Lifters, HV generators, ion drives, etc. Currently working on making ball lightning in the laboratory.

    Email me for details. (Yes this is a genuine address)

    -A

    Comment by Andre | November 12, 2003

  46. Stuck in 2003

    Doc Searls asks: Why isn’t spam funny? Apparently he hasn’t seen this one, which made its way into my Inbox last night. Hello, I’m a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Since nobody here seems to be able to get…

    Trackback by The Computer Vet Weblog | January 9, 2004

  47. Ok, I will sign your blog. I really love your site.

    Comment by Thomas Bartrim | April 13, 2004

  48. Puny humans! Your inferior intellect cannot comprenhend our technology!

    Comment by Vorsaig | February 27, 2005

  49. Hey man, im intrested in the guy that took the photos…Thats a bad ass subaru, do you race that thing in scca rally or what..just curious caus i have a sti that i race too..oh well reply to todrkpark@aol.com

    Comment by David | March 24, 2005

  50. how do i remove being spammed?

    Comment by pamela2261@msn.com | January 6, 2006

  51. Don’t worry, I arrived back in the 21st century safe and sound! Missed the start by a few years, but there’s still several years of partying before the end of the cycle.

    Did the overclocked leeches help?

    Email me if you made it through to now! I’d love to get together and down a pint or three.

    Comment by President Leechman | February 16, 2006

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