Category Archives: Numbtastic

Stupid stuff.

Is that a Hulk in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

When I was six or seven years old I played a game of Whack-a-Frog at the Old Orchard Beach fairway. The game consists of placing a rubber frog onto a lever and then whacking the lever with a rubber mallet. Get enough frogs into the rotating floating lilly pads in the middle of a small pool and win a prize!

Although I never won anything quite as weird as an anatomically correct bootleg Hulk doll, I did manage to take home a rather large stuffed frog that appeared to have been assembled in a third world country using street urchins for slave labor. To top things off, halfway home in the car, I started to get a headache and didn’t know why. We got home, the frog went into a box of stuffed animals, and that was that.

Years later the box was found, nostalgia set in and I went through all of my old stuffed animals. I found the frog and pulled it out. Memories flooded my brain and then I smelled kerosene. I held it close to my nose and sniffed…kerosene. Check the box…nothing else smelled. Just the frog. I punched a small hole in the back of the fog and found it stuffed with, you guessed it, dirty rags.

So, beware of fair prizes. They’re difficult to win because the games are fixed and, if you do manage to take something home, toss a match at it and see if it goes up like kindling!

Queso por queso…

I used to hang out quite a bit with the freaks from the Nashua, NH BBS scene back in the day. Yes, the BBS scene. 2400 bps (that’s 2.4 Kbps as opposed to today’s 56 Kbps for you new school kiddies) modems screaming along connecting to one line standalone Waffle, Renegade, Telegard and Wildcat systems running off of 386 and, quite rarely, 486 machines. If you were lucky, the system you connected to had well over a hundred megabytes of hard drive space that you could use to trade hefty 300 KB and 400 KB warez files!
Continue reading Queso por queso…

Too young to make their own decisions…

I’m sorry, but I have a serious issue with these kids. I originally found them while scanning ANANOVA for the strange and unusual. It seems that Russian Dzhambulat Khotokhov is the World’s largest four-year-old child, weighing in at 123 pounds at a stalky 3 feet 11 inches. Apparently, these kids are wrestlers and their parents have decided that their morbidly obese lifestyle is perfectly acceptable.

I can understand teenagers training to become Sumo or Olympic wrestlers, but I just can’t accept the fact that parents are making life and health altering decisions for four- and five-year-old children (see Baby Ink Tattoo hoax for another example). Knowing what it’s like to be the fat kid, I can only imagine what these kids will go through when they get older.

Who knows…perhaps I am just completely and utterly ignorant to the preparation and training aspect of the sport of wrestling, but I just can’t see this being healthy. I know Sumo wrestlers are incredibly healthy for their weight, but a four year old frame just isn’t built to support over a hundred pounds.

Scour Google for more information.