Inert Ramblings

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Inert Ramblings
June 29, 2003 by Sciri

Tell us how you really feel…

One of the Webmasters for Carb Solutions felt inclined to share an email he received from a rather disappointed customer:


From: xxxxxxxx
Sent: Thursday, June 19, 2003 9:05 AM
To: ‘itgbilling@rexallsundown.com’
Cc: ‘info@carbsolutions.com’; ‘webmaster@rexallsundown.com’
Subject: Carb Solutions Taste Sensations – Creamy Chocolate Peanut Butter

Dear Carb Solutions,

I’m trying to lose a few pounds and last night I tried your Carb Solutions Taste Sensations – Creamy Chocolate Peanut Butter (Serial Number: MC53097 BEST BY040704) for the first time. The bar was a substitute for my dinner because I was on the road.

I want you to know that I have discovered your secret formula for weight loss and I plan on stealing it. I too will make something so truly disgusting in taste that it makes the victim… err, uhhh… “dieter” not want to eat anything because they’re physically nauseous.

This morning I defecated an exact replica of the bar I ate last night. I plan on taking my feces and your bar to shopping malls and asking people to take a bite of each and see if they can tell the difference.

It is true that my butt won’t be able to produce as many “Taste Sensations” as your company can, but at over $2 a bar it will be a nice second income for me. Like your company, I will probably only be able to sell one bar to a customer before they decide never to buy from me again — so I’ll have to keep moving all of the time. They’ll probably make a movie about me.

Soon to be your competitor…

xxxxxxxx
Bellingham, Massachusetts

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0 Responses to Tell us how you really feel…

  1. Dave932932 says:
    February 27, 2005 at 6:31 PM

    HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH!!!!!

  2. JACK SINGLETON says:
    November 23, 2005 at 12:25 PM

    I HAD BARIATRIC SURGERYLAST MAY. THE DR. SAID TO DRINK, 70MG OF PROTINE EVERYDAY. I STARTED OUT WITH THE POWDER KIND. THEN I CAME ACROSS YOUR CAN SHAKE DRINK. I NOW DRINK 4 CANS EVERYDAY AND TAKE MAY OTHER VITE. I HAVE LOST 75LBS SENCE MAY. I WISH THAT YOU HAD MORE THAN 2 KINDS. ALSO SELL IT IN 6 OR 12 PKGS.

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